oh that baby...

   I know I blog A LOT about Camden and I am sorry...I just can't help myself. 

I remember when we found out we were pregnant with Camden,
we were hoping for a girl. We have always wanted one of each gender and in our minds at the time, having a little girl would complete our family. Silly me, God had BIGGER plans. 

Not only did we have another boy, but we had a hard pregnancy and a sick baby. Our lives were flipped upside down and at the time I thought life was spiraling out of control. God was there. He knew exactly what we needed and he placed him right into our arms. I remember feeling like something was always missing after Alexander turned one and I didn't know why. Like someone was missing...we weren't complete. Camden Thomas was missing...my heart is complete, our family is complete.

 He brings more joy to our family than I EVER thought imaginable. Sometimes when he laughs I cry...and I am not sure why. I don't know if it is because I never thought we would be where he is now or if its just because I love him so much. 

By the grace of God I can barely remember the NICU stay, counting his every breath till he was 3 months old, watching the light on his apnea monitor blink at night while he slept so I  knew he was still breathing. No, I hardly remember those days and honestly I never want to. What I do remember is unplugging him sometimes at night and placing him on my chest skin to skin. Feeling his every breath on me and breathing a sigh of relief because I knew he was okay.

Life with Camden hasn't been easy. Every. single. step. has been a struggle, but it has been more than a blessing to me. God has used Camden to bring me to my knees over and over again. Camden has made me a better wife, mother and friend. My husband and I have a deeper relationship and love for one another because of this sweet boy.

Why I ever doubted the Lord about who he placed in my womb, I will never know. "Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.'" James 1:17. Camden is good, Camden is perfect in every way and Camden is a gift from above.

 That baby..oh that baby. He brings joy to my soul everyday. Anthony and I have a special  time with him in the mornings before we get his big brother up. We laugh, giggle and cuddle and we can't help but be overjoyed.  The Lord knew exactly what our hearts needed....and it was Camden Thomas. Thanks be to God for choosing us to be his parents. I cannot imagine life without this amazing little boy and Alexander would be lost without his best friend. <3