Be still my beating heart....

     As many of you know we got some really bad news today at Camden's doctor appt and while living in the unknown, we are trusting that God is in control. And as much as my heart breaks and as much as I want to blog about all our of our problems, I will not. It does no good to share every detail that could actually turn out to be 100x worse than we think or simply noithing at all. All we need is prayer..there is POWER in prayer...Please pray for our Cadmen. On that note I want do want to blog about how much I love this amazing baby.

    My sweet Camden..you came into this world in a flash and our world came crashing down. Yet, we loved you from the beginning. I will never forget them bringing  you to me for the first time and placing you on my chest. You looked at me with those tiny blue eyes and I promised you that I would not let them take you anymore and that I would forever protect you. Yet they had to take you again, possibly to save your life and you forgave me. Every time we visited you in the NICU my love grew for you more with each passing minute. And when we brought you home I just knew that God was smiling down upon us and the angels were dancing in heaven because we were together at last. I listened to every breath you took for the first 3 month because you were so loud the neighbors could hear you, and yet though I was barely sleeping, my heart was full because you were with us. The bigger you get, the stronger you get.  I am so proud of you.Those baby blue eyes steal away my heart every day and I am pretty sure you will forever get by with more than your poor brother ever will. Those mornings when I get you up to feed you and you grab my face and kiss me..those take away my breath and I will never forget them. The moments when you giggle at your brother for hours will never leave my thoughts. Sometimes I watch the video monitor while you sleep and can't imagine what our life would be like without you. Even though I would probably change our circumstances, I would never trade you for another. You are my angel, I am your mommy and no matter what tomorrow may bring I will be there, loving you, holding you, sometimes crying and always trusting you to the Lord's mighty hands. <3