More than making it through the day..

   Wow, what a day. I think I say that every day before I fall into my bed at night. Keeping up with a 2.5 year old and a 7 month old with no break or adult conversation can really take its toll. Our day started with shattered glass all over the kitchen b/c I was running back and forth trying to get the clean dishes put away before then boys finished their breakfast. I got Camden down for his nap, worked out, got in the shower all the while debating on whether  I was going to wash my hair or shave today, only for him to wake up when the water turned on,then I decided I didn't have time for either. I hoped out, ran to him soaking wet, gave him his prevacid, put him in tummy time and placed Alexander in the pack n play to watch seasame street. I ran downstairs to make Camden's bottle and returned to him chewing on the iron cord that was 3 sec away from falling on his head off my end table. I gasped, ran over, caught the iron and pulled the chord out of his mouth. I fed him his bottle and brought them both down stairs to get lunch going. Alexander ran laps while screaming and Camden jumped away in his jumparoo all while I caught my brother (Uncle J) up to speed on pertinent info.While I was feverishly jabbering away,I glanced over to see Alexander thought it would be fun to pick up his potty (full of pee mind you) out of his playroom and run with it!  After I captured the potty, I placed both boys in the high chair for lunch, fed them, fed myself and pumped at the same time.  I brought both boys upstairs, put Alexander in his rocking chair, told him to read some books while I laid Camden down. I think I heard him slam his door open and closed at least 5 time in 5 min. After I came in from laying Camden down Alexander had pulled out all the toys in his toy box, I sighed and asked him to help me clean them up. At 1 pm I remember I hadn't use the bathroom almost all day or drank anything. I hydrated, shoved in a little to much chocolate, grabbed the laundry and headed to my bedroom. I made a few important phone calls, checked my email and fb. As I went to start the laundry I noticed Camden was already awake after an hour. I left the three loads of laundry on the bed, went and pumped so Camden could eat. Again I shoved in a few more pieces of chocolate and got both boys  up (who barely napped) since they were both awake.
      Our afternoon proceeded with potty accidents that you don't want me to get into because it is just totally disgusting, but lets just say he knew better b/c he was hiding in the corner. Anthony got home from work super later tonight.  I was feeling brave and tried to give Camden a bath with Alexander  for the first in the big bath tub, (since the pesticide guy sprayed Camden's bath tub which I just happened to throw out on the back porch  yesterday since we a renovating the downstairs bathroom). Well Camden flipped out! I grabbed him up, calmed him down and tried again. I placed him in his bath chair and before I could stop him Alexander slammed the lap bar that goes between Camden's legs and managed to pinch Camden's man parts in the process. Let's just say it wasn't pretty. Everyone freaked and praise the Lord Ant was coming through the door about that time. I ended up giving Camden a sponge bath, some motrin and called it a night.
    I said all that to say most days I am simply "making it through," or surviving. But I want so much more than that. I want to soak up every second I have with my babies. I want to worry less and enjoy more. I want to get over that fact that I have to go to the bathroom with an audience, sometimes even bouncing a fussy baby at the same time. I want to let go of the fact that I eat almost every meal standing up and never actually taste my food. I want to realize it doesn't matter if I haven't shaved in a week, worn sweat pants for days and can't remember the last time make-up touched my face. Who cares that I can sometimes track Alexander's mud foot prints through the house, his finger prints on all my shiny surfaces and walls. Ant totally doesn't mind to come home to a wife covered in baby spit up and usually smells like it too. What really matters is that my babies are happy. What really matters is that my babies feel loved. What really matters is that I spend quality time alone with them during the day. What really matter is they are learning, growing and thriving. What really matters is that I discipline them and help mold them in what God would have them to be. What is really important is that I soak up each laugh, hug and kiss, because my even though they are still so young I know my time with them is short. I don't want to miss a beat. I don't want to miss a minute. I don't want to have any regrets. <3